Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The first bad thing

Genesis chapter one is filled with things that God proclaimes as "good". What was the first thing to be bad? Lonliness. "The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone." -Gen 2:18a Even before sin, lonliness was the very first thing that God said wasn't good.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Perfect Love - by Max Lucado

“Perfect love casts out fear.” I John 4:18 NKJV

Have you ever gone to the grocery store on an empty stomach? You’re a sitting duck. You buy everything you don’t need. Doesn’t matter if it’s good for you—you just want to fill your tummy. When you’re lonely, you do the same in life, pulling stuff off the shelf, not because you need it, but because you are hungry for love.
Why do we do it? Because we fear facing life alone. For fear of not fitting in, we take the drugs. For fear of standing out, we wear the clothes. For fear of appealing small, we go into debt and buy the house. For fear of going unnoticed, we dress to seduce or to impress. For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone. For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places.
But all that changes when we discover God’s perfect love. And “perfect love casts out fear.”


- Thank you Max Lucado for reminding me of God's perfect love everyday at upwords.org.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

So Very Good!

I have an acquaintance I talk to every month or so who always asks me when my next vacation is. I just laugh and respond that I have no plans for a vacation. I’m always shocked at the silly question and he’s always shocked with my answer! Of course I’m not planning a vacation. Vacations are for people who have a significant other to enjoy them with, people with money to spare, people with time to spare. I don’t seem to have any of those things.

The last time I took a vacation was 4 years ago for a 4 day trip. This was a time in my life that I had a significant other to do such things with. My roommate hasn’t been on vacation in 8 years, also when she had a love interest to go with. Now that we’re not involved with anyone, why waste the time and money on a vacation we can’t enjoy with a love interest?

Here’s why. God did not create this gorgeous planet, with amazing sights, sounds, aromas, things to taste and touch for us to only experience the ones we pass from home to work. As a Christian, I find it impossible to be immersed in the natural beauty of this world without feeling closer to God. I am drawn to the wonder of His creation and when I'm in it I don't want to leave. So why don't I do it more often? Mostly because I'm afraid. Afraid to go alone, afraid of spending the money, afraid I'll be singled out as a single person. But, fear is a lousy reason not to have a regular connection with God's creation. Fear is not of God.

Besides, if I never do marry, I will be an awfully boring old person. No stories to tell, nothing for people to be interested in. Therefore, still alone and lonely. Fear will have gotten me nowhere. I'd rather be someone who has lots of stories and pictures, which draw people to me. Telling anyone who'll listen about the trips I took and the things I've seen. I love hearing about the trips of the acquaintance I mentioned above. He makes a point to experience all that this life has to offer. He does so because he knows that when we leave this earth, we can't take anythings with us, just our experiences.

So, I plan to start planning. Planning short trips to the mountains to meet God there. Planning longer vacations in more exotic locations to meet God there. Planning regular times to enjoy this beautiful place He created to bring Him glory. I plan to praise Him in hot places, cold places, high places and low places. As many places as I can.

Gen 1:31a (Message) - God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Let's Go Fishin'

What is the most important question fishermen ask each other? "What are you using for bait?" Everyone has a different response. Some swear by worms, plastic lures, live bait, even doughballs! Fisherman are passionate about their bait and they will keep trying until they find what works best for them. Also, they need to adjust their bait depending on what they want to catch. Certain fish are attracted to certain bait.

So, what are you using for bait? What is it you decide to cast out into that ocean of singles in order to hook a good one? What are you fishing with and what kind of fish do you hope to catch?

Our society tells us plenty of ways to catch a mate. We should have the "right" size body, perfect hair, nice clothes, makeup, and jewelry. We should also have the same attitude that most people do - whatever makes you happy and feel good is right. If it's okay with the people involved then it's a good thing to do. Right?

But what does the bible say about how to fish? What should we, as Christians, use for bait? There's a lot of fish in the sea. How do you attract just the right one?

For starters, I haven't found many bible verses about wearing the right clothes and having the perfect hair. Actually it says we should focus on something very different. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT) says: "Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." Notice this verse doesn't say to do what is precious for men, it says to do what is precious to God. And what is precious to God? A gentle and quiet spirit. Do you have one of those? Is that what you're casting into the ocean of men? It should be. Why would God, who loves His sons as much as He loves His daughters subject any of them to a woman whose only concern is her outward beauty? As a loving Father, He desires to give His dearly loved sons to women with gentle and quiet spirits. Can you blame Him for not giving His son to you? What is the state of your spirit? If it's not gentle and quiet then maybe you have some work to do before God will allow you to hook one of His best fish.

I know I have to continually check my spirit. But the more I desire to change and make steps to become obedient to Him, the closer I am to catching the right fish. Just like Peter when he obeyed the Lord after an exhausting and unproductive night of fishing. "He [Jesus] got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon [Peter], and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets." When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break." Luke 5:3-6(NLT)

What was Peter's newly preferred choice of bait? Just Jesus.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU

I will take care of you. Who doesn't long to hear someone express those words? Mommies and Daddies say them to their children. Husbands and wives to each other. Sometimes grown children say them to their aging parents. Everyone needs someone to care for them at times. If not physically, or financially, then emotionally. How lonely it would be to have no one to care for you.

So, if you're living on your own, no spouse, no close family, where do you find that care? Who will be there when you have a need? Who do you turn to without feeling as though you are intruding or burdening someone?

About 2 years ago I made the decision that I would live for Christ. Not just believing in Him as my Savior, I had done that years earlier, but actually living my life for Him. I was still recovering from a painful brake-up, short on friends and lacking in happiness. I had nowhere to turn but to my Lord. And when I did, He welcomed me with open arms.

Since that time, I am overwhelmed with how the Lord has cared for me. He has introduced me to a group of Christian friends who pray with me and for me. He provided a way for me to own a home. When I needed a new refrigerator, a free one was offered along with a matching stove! He even gives me the occasional free lunch through coupons or co-workers offering to treat. Some people would look at these things as just coincidence or luck. Not me. I know these things are from my God. I know because He told me he would take care of me.

A while ago I started communicating with someone through a dating website. Our emails and phone conversations went well and so we decided to meet. Being a typical woman, I began to over think every detail. What would I wear, say, do? What would he say? Would we be compatible in person? What if I spill something on the new shirt I bought? My mind raced with every possible detail and scenario. During the half hour drive to meet my date, I prayed fervently for God's guidance and peace.

I met the gentleman for dinner. Things were going well, as far as I could tell. But my mind was still racing with questions. Is he the ONE? Do we want the same things? Would he be a good husband, father, provider? God silenced these thoughts with one simple phrase. In the middle of eating my mashed potatoes, I heard His words in my mind, strong and clear, "I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU." Wow! God was reminding me not to look for care and support from someone else. He will be the one to take care of me, thank you very much. The God of the universe will give me what I need when I need it.

I finished my dinner and told the nice gentleman that I'd be willing to talk with him more. It turned out he wasn't as interested as I was (story of my life). But that was okay. What God had told me was so much more important! I treasured these words and pondered them in my heart.

God knew that I needed a little reminder of His faithfulness. Now when I receive a free lunch or the unexpected blessing, I know I'm not just lucky. I know that my Lord is taking care of me. Providing for me. Loving me. And He will do it for all eternity.

He will do so for you as well. He told you He would. Not so sure? Just look at Psalm 23 (NLT):
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

If you turn to God as your shepherd, He will care for you. His goodness and unfailing love will pursue you all the days of your life. Forever.

Monday, March 30, 2009

While I'm Waiting

How do we wait for God? The bible tells us in countless verses to wait, be still and have patience. But how do you do that? Does waiting mean that we can't DO anything? And what are we waiting for? Will there be a sign? A thought? A burning bush?? At least in the Old Testament the Isrealites had circumstances where they actually SAW God and HEARD his voice. I don't know about you, but I haven't had any actual visions of God. He does not reveal himself to me physically. And when we’re trying to wait on Him, it’s terribly frustrating when we don’t see or hear Him.

Being a single woman in my thirties, I’m still waiting on the Lord for a husband. I don’t always find myself waiting so patiently either. There are times when I see a loving couple or witness a beautiful wedding and I become overwhelmed with the desire to have what they have. Yes, sometimes I covet my neighbors’ husband. Oh, not the actual person, just the coupledom that they share. These are the times I have to remind myself that God has a bigger plan and I must wait on Him and His timing.

But does “waiting” mean that I cannot be “doing” something? Many times we get so consumed with waiting that we simply miss doing anything. I don't believe it's God's plan for me to sit in my home and wait for Him to send a man to my front door. I think God likes when I seek His guidance and then get up and move! This doesn't mean going to bars to pick up guys. It means within the context of His plan I can be serving Him, serving others, and in doing that, maybe it will lead to connecting with someone romantically. It will only happen with God's guidance, of course. But God can't guide me anywhere if I'm sitting on my rear end.

The song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller expresses this idea perfectly. While we're waiting for the desires of our heart, we should be hopeful, moving ahead, bold and confident, serving and worshipping. Running the race, even while waiting.

Sometimes Christian singles spend too much time wringing our hands and waiting that we become consumed with our own destructive thoughts. If we comit to serving the Lord and serving others, I gaurantee the holy spirit will take away the anxiety and fill you with God's peace. You will begin to HEAR His voice and SEE Him around you. You will find companionship with God and with others. And that makes the pain of singleness disolve away as you realize you are not alone.

So, as I continue to wait on the Lord, I seek His guidance in prayer and in His word. But I also "do" things. I volunteer at church, I connect with people on dating websites, and I live a full life. I'm not doing anything contrary to God's word. I'm not trying to push relationships with people. I am waiting on the Lord. I'm simply waiting actively.

Psalm 37:4 (NLT)- Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Lyrics to While I'm Waiting by John Waller :
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Let's Get Started

Welcome to my first blog! If you're a single Christian woman over the age of 30, this blog is for you. I want to talk about living a life that honors God while being open to meeting your soul mate at the same time. How do we balance the desire to know God with the desire to find a husband?

If you're reading this, I already know three things about you. #1 You are single. #2 You are a Christian. #3 You're still waiting for a husband. And if you're anything like me, you've already kissed your fair share of frogs and are getting a little tired of not finding the right one. Why are you still singe? Does God want you to be alone forever? Why doesn't it ever work out for you?

You are not alone! There are more and more women who are entering their 30's as singletons. I'm continually amazed at the number of single Christian women I meet. At first, I was sure I was the last person alive who hadn't gotten married and started a family in my twenties. The horror! But the closer I got to God the more He showed me other amazing women in the same situation. Attractive women who had good educations, great jobs, and a comfortable life, yet couldn't find Mr. Right.

But why has this happened? Why are women living their forth decade alone? I think there are endless reasons. The loss of Christian values in our society, a focus on education and career, the need for independence and spending too much time with the wrong guys are just a few. These aren't all bad things, in fact, some of them are very necessary. But they still leave a void in our hearts. And, for that reason, single thirty-somethings are some of the most frustrated people I know. No matter how much personal success, money, or life experience you have; there is still a desire for a mate that is left unfulfilled.

A woman is created to nurture, to be a helpmate, to bear children. As God creates each of us, He instills this nature into all women. And please do not doubt that He knows what He is doing!
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life
was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

God knows. He knows the frustration you feel, the loneliness, the unfulfilled desires of your heart. And He created you to find peace and harmony and satisfaction. But, He did not create you to find these things in a man. No, he created you to find these things in Him. Go ahead and ask your married friends. They know that the desires of your heart - your true nature will never be met in the arms of a man. These things will only be met in the everlasting arms of your heavenly father. Men, just like us, are only human and they will disappoint, they will let you down, they will do stupid things. But the Lord will never disappoint you, He will never let you down. I guarantee if you pursue the Lord with the passion you've been using to find a man, He will fulfill your every need. He will show you the love, security and companionship you've been longing for. And He's the only one who can.